I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize