we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
