Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
