Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
