I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
