I heard we made out
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
