im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
