Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
