it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
