hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
