I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
