so that wasnt chicken after all
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
