how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize