Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
