Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
