It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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