hotel room ftw
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
