i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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