I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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