I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
