So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
sex in a hospital.. check
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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