I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well I just put wine in my tea
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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