I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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