i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
