Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
