Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
