a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
