Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
