I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
