You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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