my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
operation have a gay friend backfired
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm at about main and main street
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
