Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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