im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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