Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
