Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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