have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
