I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
