I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize