it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
