why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
