Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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