There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
