we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
