You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dignity is for republicans.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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