I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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