I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
