I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
