Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
