So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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