Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
