i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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