Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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