my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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