I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize