I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
