he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
