Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
