Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize