literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
