so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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