11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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