She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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