no. you can't hotbox the world.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This baby is an asshole
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
