it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize