Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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