John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
