I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
