I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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