i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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