forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
