Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
What a dumb baby whore.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
