some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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