She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Randomize
