I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
