i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
