Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
