Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
