I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
