That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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