Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My first STD was from a foam party
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
