Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am puke
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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