I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
